He is an equal opportunity slut.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
