yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i came on her dog
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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