One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
