This is not my ceiling
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
