Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
