Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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