Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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