Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
