Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
honey bunches of taint.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
