If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
