apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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