1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
