I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
