my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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