HIV tests are more positive than that guy
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
