GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
