if only i could text you this smell
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just found puke in my bra..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
