On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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