Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
