we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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