Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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