i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
