i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
be right there i have to get my cape
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
