i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i drank out of a bidet.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
