my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
