Already got asked if we're dating
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
