All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
