I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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