All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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