their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
