so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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