Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
