No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
