I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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