Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
