I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
