some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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