the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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