If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
