Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
