I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
