It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
