Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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