Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
