You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You smell like stripper and shame
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
