Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
