everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
