But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
