we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
