She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
